Overheard in Syria:

Bashar al-Assad

"Oh, you silly Americans are still all focused on the chemical weapons bullshit and meanwhile, I just keep killing all of my people. I kill so many now, it tickles! I can't tell you how many are dead! The United Nations has given up counting! And still you only give 'non-lethal aid' and worry about chemicals! Chemicals! I laugh loudly at you each day!"

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad