Overheard in Wyoming:

Liz Cheney

“Daddy, I just can’t go on. I’m going to halt my campaign for the Senate. People just don’t fucking like me, perhaps because they can see I’m bat shit fuck crazy, or maybe it is even because of all this anti-lezbo stuff. Whatever it is, I’m going to say it’s because of family illness and then I’ll check back into the mental health clinic for a tuneup. I’m about to have a meltdown.”

Liz 'Not Lez' Cheney, now former Senate candidate in Wyoming and daughter of former Vice President Dick 'Darth Vader' Cheney

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Dick Cheney

“It’s your goddam sister’s fault, her and her ‘wifey’! If they hadn’t responded with such hate and vitriol to your own hateful and vitriolic remarks, and had just kept their lesbian mouths shut, you’d be ahead in this race, I just know it.”

Dick Cheney, former vice president and demon from hell

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Liz Cheney

“Lesbians can’t keep their mouths shut, Daddy. That’s what they do—use their mouths. That’s why they call them ‘carpet munchers.’ DIDN’T YOU KNOW THAT?”

Liz Cheney

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Dick Cheney

  “Yes, I think I did know all of that, but I didn’t need to hear it come out of YOUR mouth, Liz. Are you trying to kill this new heart as well? Now tell me: are you feeling as if you are going to start stabbing people again?”

Dick Cheney

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Liz Cheney

  

“Absolutely, Daddy. And If I don’t go and check myself in, I think my kids and husbands are going to be next. They will be safer if I’m back in the clinic and can just stab the other patients.”

Liz Cheney

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Dick Cheney

“Then run, my sweet daughter. Get yourself back into the clinic. We don’t want any dead grand-babies. Your mother and I can’t take anything more—having a lesbian daughter is bad enough!”

Dick Cheney