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| Gov. Rick Perry (R-Texas) |
"Hi. You probably don't
remember me—and why the fuck would you? The name's Rick Perry. I'm governor
of Texas and a really, really failed Republican nominee for president in 2012. I
tell you what, I'm here to say the Boy Scouts of America should not be allowing
no faggots to be Scouts or group leaders! I'm an EAGLE Scout, godammit, and I
know whereof I speaks. The Scouts is a paramilitary group that encourages boys
to spend copious amounts of time together with no women present, to spend
weekends sleeping together at overnight camp-outs, and to engage in masculine
behavior, like group sing-a-longs and marshmallow toasting around a lovely
campfire. The Scouts' founder was a supporter of fascism and was likely a
repressed homosexual who didn't spend an
awful lot of time with a woman until he was in his 50s and finally got around to
marrying a woman 30 years his junior. But that don't matter none. He was a REAL
man. The Scouts just oughta to keep those gay boys out of its ranks, and them
gay and lesbians out of its leadership. Why, having gay boys and gay leaders in
the Boy Scouts would just be.... unAmerican.
"Besides, our ranks are so
swelled with pedophiles, we don't really have room for any homos. Over the years, we've covered up more child rapists than the Catholic Church, but without the fancy hats and
wine! Remember, exclusion and bigotry are only bad things when white heterosexual
men complain about them."
Gov. Rick Perry (R-Texas), speaking last week on why the entire
world should be as narrowminded, stupid, and hateful as he is.
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