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| Rick Santorum |
"Where
have I been for the last few months? Oh, you know, the usual thing—out telling
children their parents are dead and don't want them anymore, threatening old
people by telling them I am going to sprinkle cancer on their sandwiches, and
paying off all of my ex-boyfriends in advance of 2016. These are dirty jobs,
but some miserable prick has to do them.
Rick Santorum, America's favorite Roman Catholic and founding member of the National
He-Man Homo-Haters Club. Santorum's personal net worth is estimated at
between $500,000 and $2.6 million. He is a 2016 presidential hopeful.
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