Thursday, June 27, 2013

Overheard in Heaven:


Jesus Christ

"I am pretty good with the bible. I know most of it by heart, even the most obscure passages about who begat whom. So all of you gay marriage-haters out there: Just where in the bible does it say there cannot be same-sex marriage? You can’t point it out to me, can you? And you can’t do it because there is absolutely NOTHING in the bible that defines marriage as being between a man and a woman, and absolutely nothing that speaks against same-sex couples getting all of the same rights as heterosexual couples. Now there are a few passages you could interpret as being anti-homosexual, but that is YOUR interpretation. God makes heterosexuals; and believe it or not, HE MADE THE HOMOSEXUALS TOO, ASSHOLES. And Father doesn't make defective things. Ever. Well, except for Richard Nixon. But marriage as it exists today is a legal contract as much as anything else. It is a declaration of someone’s love for another person. That is all it is. Stop blaming the bible for banning things when it doesn’t. Either you are stupid or you are liars—one of the two. Don’t blame the bible because YOU want to legitimize your hate. Fucking idiots."

Jesus Christ, son of God

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