“Today's show is brought to you by the letters 'F' and 'U'. Wait ...
I don’t think I am supposed to be here. This audience is way too serious.”
Grover
- - -
 |
| Grover Norquist |
“You’re
not. Wrong Grover. Step aside, Muppet. Sen. Ted Cruz is a giant pile of puke and does
more to harm the nation than he does to fix it. I can’t tell you if his
strategy as a senator is good as bad because as far as anyone can tell, he
doesn’t fucking have one.”
Grover
Norquist, founder of Americans for Tax Reform and mastermind of a
moronic pledge to never raise taxes that somehow has members of Congress
spellbound.
- - -
 |
| Rafael Cruz |
“I have
a strategy. It is called the 'Piss in Grover Norquist's Wheaties' Strategy. You’re just jealous of my tremendous polling numbers. We think, talk
and act almost the same way, Grover. And yet, somehow, most Americans believe
you are a sniveling snake of a Muppet, while many millions of Americans believe
me to be a Messiah.”
Sen. Rafael ‘Ted’ Cruz
|
| Grover Norquist |
- - -
“A MESSIAH? Jesus Fucking Christ! Please. Don’t say anything more. I think you just gave me an aneurysm.”
Grover
Norquist
- - -
|
| Rafael Cruz |
“An
aneurysm! GREAT! My superpowers are working today!”
Sen.
Cruz
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