Overheard on Sen. Tom Coburn's Cellphone:

Tom Coburn

“I can work with most people but Majority Leader Sen. Harry Reid is a flaming asshole.”

Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Oklahoma) addressing a political fundraiser at a law firm in Manhattan on Monday morning, the anniversary of Hurricane Sandy. Coburn was a strong opponent of providing federal disaster relief to victims of the storm, one of the five worst storms in United States history.

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Harry Reid

“And if Coburn had EVER gotten a single piece of bipartisan legislation through the Senate, I’d be more than willing to listen to his childish criticism. I might even give him a lollipop.”

Sen. Reid (D-Nevada)

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Tom Coburn

“Harry Reid is a condescending bully!”

Sen. Coburn

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Harry Reid

“Again, I make the same offer. Show me an accomplishment, Sen. Coburn, beyond mastering that incredible comb-over, and I will acknowledge your expertise. But until then, everyone can safely assume you suck ass. People should also know you seldom wear pants on the Senate floor and are prone to bouts of flatulence. I also have witnessed you so drunk you walked around a roon naked, holding your penis, screaming, 'Has anyone seen my dick? I seem to have misplaced it'.”

Sen. Reid

 

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Tom Coburn

"Goddammit Harry! You said you wouldn’t tell anyone about the farting! Prick.”

Sen. Coburn