 |
| Randall Paul |
“Hey,
Gov. Fat Ass! I really don’t like that you appeared in all o those post-Sandy
television commercials encouraging tourists to come back to the Jersey Shore
because everything was rebuilt. Those commercials, with your family and
everything, were just like campaign ads! And they were paid for with tax
dollars! That’s wrong!
Sen.
Randall ‘Rand’ Paul
(R-Kentucky)
- - - -
 |
| Chris Christie |
“Sen. Paul—Is it your wife that makes all of those
fucking fish sticks, by the way? They really suck. But to the point at hand: You
are an asshole. I am the governor of the fucking state. How can I not appear in
commercials like that? Sorry! Sandy didn’t hit during an off-campaign cycle and
the two things overlapped. Damn! I should have planned that all better. When a
natural disaster comes into your state, causes billions of dollars of damage
and kills and injures citizens, you are hereby empowered to appear in any ‘Come
Back to Kentucky’ commercials you want. Oh wait. That really would be a fucking
waste of tax dollars, wouldn’t it because who in their right minds would ever
go to Kentucky in the first place, let alone return.”
Gov. Chris
Christie (R-New Jersey)
- - - -
|
| Randall Paul |
“Hey! Kentucky is a great state. We make
bourbon!”
Sen.
Paul
- - - -
 |
| Chris Christie |
“Yeah, your son knows all about that shit,
doesn’t he?”
Gov.
Christie
- - - -
 |
| Randall Paul |
“That’s it. I’m done talking. Next time you
see me it will be because I’m standing right behind you ready to throw a punch
at your head.”
Sen.
Paul
- - - -
 |
| Chris Christie |
“Maybe
after you get done beating up Rachel Maddow you can come visit me. If she
leaves any of you untouched, that is. She's a feisty broad and just might kick your fucking ass.”
Gov.
Christie
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