“OK …
so it wasn’t Anderson COOPER who got
me fired from MSNBC … it was that prima dyka bitch Rachel Maddow! I had the right gender, but wrong damn NETWORK! Listen, I have been
found guilty of homophobia by the Gay Supreme Court (that’s Anderson, Maddow
and Time Magazine’s Andrew Sullivan) and my life will never be the same! My gay
friends don’t love me any more! The public thinks I’m a cocksucker! Well, not
literally, because they know I’d never do that … but I’m the victim here,
dammit. Why, Maddow, Why?”
Alec
Baldwin, actor/professional bastard, writing in ‘The New Yorker’ about how the world perceives
him and his alleged homophobic behaviors
- - -
 |
| Rachel Maddow |
“I’ve
never met you. I’ve never spoken to you. To the best of my
knowledge, I’ve never attempted to have you fired from anywhere, including your
job as fry cook at McDonald’s. What is it with people this week who seem to
believe that I, as a card-carrying lesbian, have all sorts of super powers?
Christ! I don’t even own a cape.”
Rachel
Maddow, MSNBC host
- - -
 |
| Lindsey Grahem |
“Rachel,
you low-rent hussy! Everyone needs a cape! Listen, I can loan you one! I have a
great one in leopard skin. It will look great with your skin tones.”
Sen.
Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina)
- - -
|
| Alec Baldwin |
“Listen
Maddow, my behind-the-scene sources at MSNBC tell me you are the person who got
me fired from my talk show. I did not call that paparazzi a ‘cocksucking faggot’!
I don't utter redundancies, dammit. I called him a ‘cocksucking motherfucker!’ There is a big difference!”
Alec
Baldwin
- - -
|
| Rachel Maddow |
“Whatever,
Mr. Baldwin. I did nothing. I suspect your temper and your flair for never knowing when to shut up is what got you fired. I’m just a host trying to do the
best show I can for my viewers and being a good, solid representative of the
gay community. I wish you nothing but the best. Run along now. The grownups need to talk.”
Rachel
Maddow
- - -
|
| Alec Baldwin |
“The
grownups? THE GROWNUPS? What are the
GROWNUPS going to do now, Rachel? MUNCH CARPET? Why can’t I WATCH? DYKE!”
Alec
Baldwin
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