Overheard on CBS:

Willard Romney

“A president with real vision—one with a Magic Eight Ball, a Ouija board and a professional psychic on staff—and I would have been that kind of president, by the way—would have guessed Russia’s nefarious plan to seize the Crimea before it took shape. Five years ago, every country in the world loved and feared America and this president has done nothing to keep that love and fear going. He is a weak man who needs to eat more red meat and less fiber.”

Former presidential candidate Willard “Mitt” Romney (R)