 |
| John McCain |
“Sen.
Graham, it’s go-time again. I’ll be
damned if that pig fucker Vladimir Putin will keep me out of Kiev. We’re
flying in a secret squad of commandos and mounting a raid on Crimea. I’m going to personally
lead this crack squad into battle and take back what belongs to the Ukraine."
Sen.
John McCain (R-Arizona)
- - -
 |
| Lindsey Graham |
"Johnny
Cakes, what are you talking about? Please dish! A CRACK SQUAD? OF COMMANDOS! I WANNA BE THERE! Especially if the commandos
are GOING COMMANDO! But YOU, my little POW, are on Vladimir
Putin’s hit list. This time it’s YOU
who isn’t going anywhere near Russian
air space. I would hate to think of what my life would be like were I
forced to carry on without you."
Sen.
Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina)
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“I’ve GOT to go, Linds. That Nancy boy Barack Obama isn't doing shit and I can’t have this Russian
tyrant doing the things he’s doing. Someone has to bring him down a peg or two and I’m just itching for a
fight. I am jacked up on
testosterone and raring to go!
Sen.
McCain
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
"Johnny Cakes, you have to simmer down! Remember your blood pressure! You can’t go off on
some half-baked mission designed to
show the world you’ve got the bigger
schlong, though trust me, yours is MUCH
bigger than Vladimir’s. I’ve seen
pictures of his—taken by some of his Russian
biker buddies. And well, I am rather familiar
with your assets…"
Sen.
Graham
- - -
|
| John McCain |
"I’m
not sure what you mean by that.
You’ve never seen my financial statements."
Sen.
McCain
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
"Sure,
sure. Go ahead. Play dumb, just like
always. But, this is just like the time we were down in Buenos Aires for the Queer Tango Festival … about six
Novembers ago, I think. God, I was loving those hunky dancers shaking their asses
off, but you had to go and get all
riled up because that little skinny waiter said he had the 'biggest cock in all of South America.' ‘Not as long as I’m
visiting,’ you screamed and dropped your pants! The little skinny waiter did
the same thing and DAMN, I know I'm
a size queen, but JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH
AND ALL THE SAINTS, on a foggy day, that thing could have been mistaken for
a telephone pole! Who would have thought such a skinny little twink could be
walking around with timber like that!"
Sen.
Graham
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“You
are just talking nonsense now,
Linds, and I don’t know what ‘timber’
means. Are you in the lumber business
now?”
Sen.
McCain
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
"Well,
I DO love wood … And the GRAINIER
the better! But you know damn well what I’m talking about Mister
Smartypants. While the crowd was oohing
and aaahing about the waiter’s ‘tip,’ you yelled, 'A hundred bucks
says he’s a SHOWER and not a GROWER' and you demanded the contest
continue. So he got a fluffer and you got me
to be your fluffer and my little POW
once again showed the world he DOES
know dick ... about dick. Oh, those were the
days!"
Sen.
Graham
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
"I
couldn’t have done it without your 'oratorical' skills, Linds. You always have
known how to bring out the best in me!
It was a two-man effort. We won $500 if I recall correctly … ER, I
MEAN, Uhm ... Sen. Graham, I’ve
never been to Argentina and I don’t know how to tango."
Sen.
McCain
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
“That’s
my Johnny Cakes. Such a manly man. And what a grower!”
Sen.
Graham
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