Thursday, March 14, 2013

Overheard in Heaven:



Jesus Christ

"My Name in Vain! My Name in Vain! My Name in Vain with the middle Initial 'H'! At a time when the Catholic Church needs to come together, to heal, to mend, and to stand up for all of the fucked up shit it has deposited upon humanity, those stupid-ass cardinals picked as the new pope a really old man from South America who calls gay marriage a 'destructive attack on God's plan.' What a load of shit. Did the Cardinals pick someone who will be a ferocious advocate for children sexually assaulted by the pedophiles the church has protected for centuries? NO. Did they pick someone who would advocate for changes in the church's views on gender and sexuality? NO. Did they pick someone who would tell the faithful in Africa to please use condoms to stop the spread of AIDS? NO. Did the Cardinals pick someone who will usher in a new era of love and reconciliation for the church? NO. And by the way, Francis, my Father is in favor of gay marriage, and if any of you cardinals EVER bothered to ask, he'd tell you so. Fucking dickheads."

Jesus Christ, son of God

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