Overheard at the Vatican:

Jesus Christ

 "FRANNY! Oh, FRAN-N-N-N-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y! I was just hanging around and thought I'd stop by and deliver the news: You Catholics are SO fucked in Minnesota! Adults over age 24 now have NO statute of limitations on filing charges against the perpetrators who sexually assaulted them as children. You and your band of bitches better put the church's attorney on speed dial and get out your checkbook because we are talking MANY survivors here! You may need an ALL-NIGHT BINGO and a SPECIAL BUILDING FUND COLLECTION to pay this one off! This is SO exciting!"

Pope Francis I

Jesus Christ, son of God

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"Jesus, how could you let this happen? You know I'm busy trying to help the poor. I have no taste for these raped children. Not any more. I am an old man; I have no time for the raping of children."

Pope Francis I

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Jesus Christ

"Sorry, Franny, that's not how this works. First off, I didn't let anything happen. Things happen according to Father's plan. You are supposed to know that, ass wipe. As for cleaning up the mess YOU inherited, that is up to YOU, Franny. YOU get to wear the big hat, YOU get to talk to God without going through the switchboard, and therefore, YOU are responsible for EVERYTHING! Verily, verily, I say onto you, get ready for Pedophile-mageddon! You and I both know how bad those boys in Minnesota used to be."

Jesus Christ

Pope Francis I

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"Whatever happened to the good old days when you could
give a kid a quarter out of thecollection plate and buy his silence for a lifetime?"

Pope Francis I

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Jesus Christ

"It is going to cost you a HELLuva lot more than a quarter, Franny.If I didn't know it already; this proves it: there IS a God!"
Jesus Christ