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| Rep. Bachmann |
"My decision not to seek a fifth term
of office had absolutely nothing to do with the ongoing FBI investigation of
my 2012 campaign for president for alleged financial irregularities, though I
am hoping that if I go away, the FBI will walk away, if you know what I mean.
I have asked Jesus for his help with that as well."
I have asked Jesus for his help with that as well."
Michele Bachmann
(R-Minnesota), unsuccessful candidate for the GOP's nomination for
president in 2012 and a TEA Party favorite, who announced this week she will not seek a fifth term in Congress.
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| Jesus Christ |
- - -
"Michele, I've told you before: I
don't do personal requests that are designed to get people out of trouble. You
are the one who fucked up, bitch. Deal with it. What is the worst thing they can do? Crucify you? I think not. Any way, I survived it. It's not so bad."
Jesus Christ, son of God
 |
| Rep. Bachmann |
- - -
"So… that means you will help me,
right?"
Rep. Bachmann
|
| Jesus Christ |
- - -
"No, that means I will not help you
and you are a bad person for even thinking I would."
Jesus Christ
|
| Rep. Bachmann |
- - -
"So how soon will you answer my
prayers, Jesus? It says right in
the Bible that if I ask you for something in
my prayers, you will answer me."
Rep. Bachmann
- - -
|
| Jesus Christ |
"I am pleased to answer you, Michele.
And the answer is NO. Now, get your ass into rehab and get off the klonopin."
Jesus Christ
- - -
"Definitely klonopin, Jesus-looking dude. She is way too fucked up for just weed. Did I buy herb off you last week?"
Jeff Spicolli
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