Overheard Everywhere:

Chris Christie

“I love gays, dammit! I signed a bill banning that gay conversation therapy bullshit in my state because it is wrong and harmful. I believe gay people are born that way and that is the end of the goddam discussion.”

Gov. Chris Christie  (R-New Jersey)

- - -

Rand Paul

“Wait… I love gays more than you do, Chris. Much much much more. While I support traditional man-female marriages only, I also don’t believe the federal government should interfere in a state’s right to enforce laws. So put that in your jelly filled doughnut and eat it.”

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky)

Chris Christie

- - -

“Wait a minute. If you follow science and biology, and agree being homosexual is not a matter of ‘choice,’ how can you POSSIBLY not be in support of gay rights?”
Gov. Christie

Rand Paul

- - -

“Hey, don’t ask me. You are the one who signed into law a bill banning same-sex marriage, not me. I’ve never voted on the issue at all, largely because I just have never served in public office prior to being elected to the Senate. But I do have a lot of gay friends.”

Sen. Paul

Chris Christie

- - -

“Listen up, monkey boy. Nobody loves gays more than I do. I respect them. I care for them.  I believe they are among the bravest in our society.“

Gov. Christie

Rand Paul

- - -

“OK. So you are the champion gay lover? The best gay lover in the United States.”

Sen. Paul

Chris Christie

- - -

“Yes I am.”

Gov. Christie

- - -

Rand Paul

“Does your wife know?” 

Sen. Paul

Chris Christie

- - -

“Oh shut the fuck up, monkey boy. This isn't the third grade you know. Jackass.”

Gov. Christie