 |
| Vladimir Putin |
“So,
sometimes I appear as a 'bored schoolboy' to you, do I, President Obama,
my African warrior friend? Why is this? It pisses me off that you would say
such a thing out in the world and not say it to me.”
Russian
President Vladimir Putin
- - -
 |
| Barack Obama |
“Look. It’s your face. You tell me
why you often looked bored with what I have to say.”
President Barack Obama
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“Is not my fault you are so fucking boring! You drone on and on about things I don’t give a shit for. I am not like some
college girl impressed with your fiery rhetorical style on civil rights anniversary day, President Obama. I get
so tired of the American focus on style over substance.”
President
Putin
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“Why don’t you go get a giant six foot
piece of substance and shove it right up your ass, comrade.”
President Obama
|
| Vladimir Putin |
- - -
“HA!
You make funny. But please note, I am not one of you obese Americans and my
ass could not accommodate something that big, though I expect your giant
African warrior mouth could, particularly if I were shoving it in.”
President
Putin
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“I am no African warrior, President
Putin, but I will be glad to send over a warrior who is just itching to dance
with you—Sen. John ‘Blood and Guts’ McCain. He's just looking for a reason to kick your sinister ass.”
President Obama
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“Ack.
There is no need to send him. The last time he was here, he killed two
agents and 47 cats. I don’t need that bullshit again. What I do need is for you
to stop making cheap remarks at the expense of Russia. If you want to speak
with me, just call. That’s what that goddam red phone on your desk is for. Just
pick it up and press the buzzer. I am always at my desk 24 hours a day.”
President
Putin
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“Don’t you get bored?”
President Obama
|
| Vladimir Putin |
- - -
“Fuck
yes. I am bored out of my mind on some days. Thank heavens for vodka and
caviar.”
President
Putin
 |
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“See? You are bored. I wasn’t making it
up.”
President Obama
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“I must be bored if I fell into that trap. Ha Ha. You made another funny. It is shame we will not get to have our private summit next month, my African warrior friend. I would love to have the opportunity to show you what Russians really do when we are bored, particularly when we are bored with some Mister Fancypants, such as you.”
President
Putin
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
"That sonuvabitch NEVER blinks. I'm glad he can't see that I pissed myself again.”
President Obama
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