 |
| Vladimir Putin |
“President
Obama, my African Warrior friend, I think I have a proposition for you to avoid
military strikes in Syria and maybe this will allow everyone to save face. It was actually an idea tossed out by your Secretary of State Johnny Horseface Kerry. He was just saying it to brainstorm, but I think it is genius.”
Russian
President Vladimir Putin
 |
| Barack Obama |
“Oh Christ. After the day I’ve had… I
just can’t wait to see what you’ve got to say. Does this involve me licking a
dog’s ass in any way? Because if it does, I just don’t want to hear it. I've already heard that suggestion twice and I am NOT doing it this time, no matter how many people suggest it.”
President Barack Obama
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“I
would like to have my good friend Bashar al-Assad turn over all of his chemical
weapons to an international committee which would then oversee the destruction
of these amazingly wonderful but horrible weapons. That way, we can avoid air
strikes and everyone stays at home and continues to mind their own business,
which is the Russian way of living.”
President
Putin
- - -
|
| Barack Obama |
“Well… it’s a start, and we have to find a way to be certain we were getting ALL of the weapons. Syria would need
to hand over every last ounce, including the ones we don’t know about and
probably didn’t give them, and then President al-Assad needs to step aside and
allow a new government to be formed. Avoiding military strikes is a good start,
but we believe the Syrian people want and deserve a new government.”
President Obama
|
| Vladimir Putin |
- - -
“Let
me guess. You are going to promise them ‘Change That Matters.’ HO HO HO HA Ha
HA!”
President
Putin
- - -
 |
| Barack Obama |
“Oh, blow me, Vladimir. No. That kind of promise only works on
Americans. “
President Obama
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“There
is no way Bashar is going to step aside. You ask for too much, my ebony friend.
Totalitarianism is a family business in Syria. He will not go quietly
into the night.”
President
Obama
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“He would if this was Russia!”
President Obama
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“HO
HO HO HA HA HA. Good one.”
President
Putin
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