 |
| Mitch McConnell |
“I
realize it goes against every fiber of your being, Sen. Cruz, but you really
need to stop being such a lying asshole.”
Senate
Minority Leader Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky)
- - -
 |
| Ted Cruz |
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, my
Republican brother!”
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas)
- - -
|
| Mitch McConnell |
"Look,
you are running around here telling everyone and their illegitimate children
that if the other 45 Republican Senators had stuck by you and voted against the
federal budget compromise, everything would have turned out just like you hoped
and Obamacare would be nothing but a fading memory.”
Sen.
McConnell
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“It’s the truth, McConnell. I realize
it hurts.”
Sen. Cruz
- - -
|
| Mitch McConnell |
“No,
it isn’t the truth, you fucktard. Let’s go to math class, shall we? Let’s see.
… Right now there are 52 Democratic senators. Are you with me so far?”
Sen.
McConnell
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Listen up Grandpa McCondescending, I
can do the math…"
Sen. Cruz
- - -
|
| Mitch McConnell |
“Of
course you can. So there are 52 Senators who are Democrats. And how many are
Independents? Don’t GUESS. Don’t even try to answer, shithead. I will tell you.
There are TWO. Now 52 plus 2 equals 54, even in Texas. Now, 100 total senators minus 54 means
there are 46 Republican senators. I know you can’t count to 21 unless you are
naked, but dammit, 54 is a bigger number than 46. There was NO WAY you could
win with your shutdown strategy so you need to sit down and shut the fuck up.”
Sen.
McConnell
|
| Ted Cruz |
- - -
“Sez you!”
Sen. Cruz
- - -
|
| Mitch McConnell |
“No,
not me. So says the laws of mathematics, the law of the United States, and the law of
simple reason. We could add to that pile the law of common sense, the law of
the land, and maybe even Murphy’s Law and cole slaw! Are you so damn stupid that you would
take down an entire party without even a chance for victory? Is it an ego
thing? Are you intent on proving that you are, without a fucking doubt, the
biggest moron in the history of the world?”
Sen.
McConnell
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Pancakes! Apple Pie! The Second
Amendment! Socialized Medicine! Welfare Queens! Food Stamps! Chocolate
Syrup! Preparation H! Incandescent light bulbs! ...”
Sen. Cruz
- - -
|
| Mitch McConnell |
“Your
Retarded Jedi Mind Tricks don’t work on people who are alive. Now get the fuck
out of my sight.”
Sen.
McConnell
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