Overheard on Fox:

Donald Rumsfeld

“A trained ape would be better at foreign policy than President Obama. I unfortunately am an untrained and slightly retarded ape, hence the current state of the world.”

Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld

Overheard on MSNBC:

Rachel Maddow

"Has anyone else noticed the SAME fools who led us into a phony war in Iraq are now urging and cajoling the United States into taking action against Syria, or, is it just me? I'm going to lend President Obama $1 so he can buy a clue on this one... When all of the people who oppose you suddenly support something, RUN AWAY."

Rachel Maddow, MSNBC host

Donald Rumsfeld

- - -

"President Obama is an idiot, but his ideas on Syria are sound. ATTACK!"

Donald Rumsfeld

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Condoleeza Rice

"President Obama is an idiot. But his idea on Syria is the right thing to do."

Former Condoleeza Rice, former Secretary of State

Karl Rove

- - -

"Blow those damn Syrians out of the desert! We can open a resort there!"

Karl Rove, GOP strategist, former chief aid to President George W. Bush, and escaped demon from hell.

 

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Joe Lieberman

"Blow them up! Kill. Maim. Oh, it makes me tired just thinking about it."

Former Sen. Joe Lieberman (I), former senator from Connecticut

 

George Bush

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"You can never have too many wars in the Middle East. And it would be really great to have at least one NOT started by a Bush."

Former President George W. Bush

 

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Dick Cheney

"Strike! Kill! Explosion! Mayhem! Dead Children! Deformed puppies! Bombs! Chemical Weapons! Chaos! Pestilence! These are a few of my favorite things! I told President Bush to bomb Syria in 2007. Obama may be a day late now, but what the hell? Who is going to complain about a few more dead Middle Eastern people?"

Dick Cheney

Overheard in the Supreme Court:

Donald Rumsfeld

"Ha, Ha, HA. Ho, Ho, HO. 

And a couple of tra-la-la's

You can't sue my ass today

No matter how much it hurt.

"Hey. don't expect rhymes. I'm the former secretary of defense. not some goddam lyricist."

Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of Defense, who cannot be sued for his role in torturing prisoners under a ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court. 

Jesus Christ

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"And I wept."

Jesus Christ, son of God