Overheard in Texas:

Rick Perry

"I can't BELIEVE the Boy Scouts will now admit those gay boys. That's a sin right there. Little gay boys should damn well be excluded from a MANLY thing like the BOY SCOUTS. When it comes to homosexuals, discrimination applies. And I'm a goddam Eagle Scout, so I should know. Why, those gay boys will be turning all the other boys gay and pretty soon the uniforms will be all festive with paisley sashes. They'll start giving out merit badges in sodomy! What is this world coming to?"

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R), an unsuccessful candidate for the GOP presidential nomination in 2012 and rumored contender for 2016. Perry is America's favorite homophobe, perhaps because he has already EARNED his merit badge... or would really like to do so.

Jesus Christ

- - -

"Don't you back down, Rick. I totally get it. For the last hundred years, the only minority population the Scouts have allowed has been pedophiles, so I understand your reluctance. I mean, pedophiles are ONE thing, but dammit, we have to draw the line at the homosexuals!"

Jesus Christ, son of God