 |
| David Cameron |
“Well,
I bloody well misjudged that one, didn’t I?“
British
Prime Minister David Cameron after Parliament narrowly voted down a
resolution supporting military action to punish the government of Syria for
using chemical weaponry on its citizens.
- - -
 |
| Bashar al-Assad |
“British Parliament and Citizens of the
United Kingdom: I LOVE YOU! Thank you for sparing us the might of your powerful
weapons for we are but a poor country of peaceful men. To United States I say,
‘nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.’ Now you will excuse me while I go release more sarin
gas on innocent citizens. No, no. I jest, I jest.”
Syrian President Bashar al-Assad
 |
| Vladimir Putin |
- - -
“Syria
belongs to my friend Bashar. Anyone who would attempt to make it
otherwise is fucked. This means you, Barack Obama, my African warrior friend. Remember, about 100,000 Russians live in Syria. Harm one and there will be the most consequences.”
Russian
President Vladimir Putin
 |
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“Wow. You made it through four
sentences without looking bored. Good work, Vladimir!”
President Barack Obama
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“Do
not mock me, my brash American friend. I have warned you about that. Do you
know what happened to the corpses of the last three men who mocked me?”
President
Putin
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“No, I can’t say that I do.”
President Obama
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“That’s
just it, President Obama. No one does—except me. Ponder that the next time you
make pouty faces for your television cameras.”
President
Putin
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
". . ."
President Obama
- - -
|
| Barack Obama |
“Goddamit! Michelle! Please bring me some
fresh pants. Putin made me piss myself again.”
President Obama
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