Overheard in John McCain's Office:

John McCain

“Sen. Cruz spent so much time blowing kisses to Ashton Kutcher during his fauxbuster that I really wonder if the two of them are engaged in some cross-species extramarital event. I'm telling you, Lindsey, that fucktard Cruz gives me a worse case of the willies than you do on your worst day.”

Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona)

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Lindsey Graham

 

“If Ted and Ashton are sharing some secrets. well, good for Teddy! Oh, what I wouldn't give to have me a little taste of Ashton Kutcher, done up lovely with barbecue sauce! Give me 10 minutes with Ashton and I will have him curled up in a fetal position and crying for his mommy!”

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina)

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John McCain

 

“Thank you, Sen. Graham, for reminding me just how badly I hate having the willies."
Sen. McCain

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Lindsey Graham

 

“Johnny, I keep telling you, I've NEVER given you the willie. If I had, believe me, both of us would remember it vividly."

Sen. Graham