Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Overheard in Mayberry:


Barney Fife

“Let me tell you more about Mayberry, the biggest HOTBED of crime and sin in American history. Floyd the barber. Everybody loved old Floyd, right? Floyd was one of the BIGGEST child porn producers in North America! Ever listen to him talk? Creepy sounding bastard, wasn’t he? Sounded like he just couldn’t wait to get some little kid out of his little white BVDs! Ever get a look at his booster seat for kids? Well, did you? No? Innocent looking thing, until you discover it’s molded in the shape of a MAN’S LAP. Yessir! A MAN’S LAP! You’ll notice I never let the sonuvabitch cut my hair or put his razor anywhere near my throat. He knew Deputy Sheriff Barney Fife was on to him.”


Deputy Sheriff Barney Fife of Mayberry, North Carolina

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