 |
| John McCain |
“Wow.
They are discounting tickets for your next Republican fund-raiser in Iowa by 25
percent, just to get at least a FEW people in the building. Tough luck
there, Teddy.”
Sen.
John McCain
(R-Arizona)
- - -
 |
| Ted Cruz |
“It’s not a sales problem, Sen. McCain, so blow me.
We’ve already sold out. Now we’re just trying to create a standing room only
situation so that people will see just how many arch conservatives support my
solid ideals for America.”
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas)
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“You
know you are a terrible liar, right? Men with microphalluses usually are. Don’t try that on any of the news shows or
they will eat you alive. Even George Stephanopoulos would catch you, provided
he wasn’t too busy looking at himself in the monitor.”
Sen.
McCain
 |
| George Stephanopoulos |
- - -
“Hey! I resent that! Wait… Who is that gorgeous man I see on the monitor! Well hell-O
BEAUTIFUL. And yes, I am talking to MYSELF. YOW! I am one HANDSOME
man. If I wasn’t married, I’d fuck myself. GOD, is she one lucky woman.”
George Stephanopoulos, host of ‘This Week’
on ABC.
|
| Ted Cruz |
- - -
“Sen.
McCain, I think you just need to mind your own business and quit trying to ride
on other people’s coattails.”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“RIDE ON OTHER PEOPLE’S COAT TAILS!?! Listen up, you
Canadian prick! I didn’t spend 37 years as a prisoner of war just to come home
and hear little punk ass bitches like you run your mouth. I know 118 ways
to remove your tongue without ever opening your mouth, using only a shrimp
fork, a weed whacker, and a fountain pen, and unless you want me to demonstrate
them all on YOU, I suggest you need to shut the fuck up!”
Sen. McCain
|
| Ted Cruz |
- - -
“You
couldn’t do that. It just could not be done. Not in this fucking universe.”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
“I couldn’t what?”
Sen. McCain
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Demonstrate
118 ways to cut off my tongue. I mean after the first time you try it, the
tongue is removed. You can’t go back in and do it again you shithead.”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“YOU are going to play word games with ME? Listen up, you no good chicken-fucking
shit-licker. I have had enough of your piss ant bloviating and I am going to
remove your left lung RIGHT NOW…
Sen. McCain
- - -
“OH
NO!
Sen. McCain is going to EXPLODE! I’ll distract him, Teddy, and you run
away! You pressed the wrong button! Save yourself! Flee! He’s too far gone! I’m
the only one who can handle him now.”
Sen.
Lindsey Graham
(R-South Carolina)
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