Overheard in North Korea:

Dennis Rodman

Happy Birt-day, Mr. Supreme Leader.

Happy Birt-day, Mr. Supreme Leader.

Happy Birt-day, Mr. Supreme Leader.

Happy Birt-day, to you.”

Former NBA great Dennis Rodman, serenading his new BFF, North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jung-un, on Jung-un’s birthday.

Overheard in Seoul:

Kim Jong-un

"This is me being angry. See anger radiate all around me. Grrrrrrr. (See how I made that 'radiate' pun? I am one sharp cookie.) We will strike the U.S. with nuclear bomb because it is trying to start a nuclear war with us. Negotiations with Secretary of Basketball and Addictions Dennis Rodman over! I change my mind! Do not send him here again! No more sleepovers with my homey! Do you like how I shave sides of my head? I do it to look taller and thinner." 

North Korea leader L'il Kim Jong-un

Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

Dennis Rodman

"Y'all act like going to North Korea and becoming friends with a maniacal dictator is the strangest thing I've ever done in my life time. Haven't you people been paying attention? I'm an addict with serious mental health issues—I have a pierced scrotum for God's sake. My box of Fruit Loops doesn't go to the top floor. Don't hate me."

Kim Jung-un

Dennis Rodman, NBA superstar/addict/all-purpose whack job

 

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"Come back soon, my BFF Dennis, and we have another sleepover. Remember—don't tell them about the H-I-D-D-E-N   B-O-M-B-S."

North Korea leader L'il Kim Jong-un