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| Jesus Christ |
"A lot of people are wondering why the hell am I appearing
here and offering commentary on the ongoing pope thing. The switchboard here in
Heaven has been lit up for days with all sorts of fucking questions. I come to
'Overheard Somewhere' because they let me swear profusely. No one else lets me
do that and it is such fun. Try it. Say, 'shit-licking chicken-fucker' and see if you don't feel better. Meanwhile,
back at the Vatican, it will just be another day of business as usual down in
that Cardinals Conclave: fun, laughter, kissing ass, kissing rings, and
probably some sort of contest to decide who gets to spend the day with the
cutest kids from the orphanage. The cardinals are a bunch of twisted bastards. When Father said, 'Love Thy Neighbor,' he
didn't mean 'Love Thy Neighbor's Little Kid in a Twisted, Sick Way That Damages
Them For Life.' We can't make it stop from up here, though. Sorry. It doesn't work that way. It is you down
there who have to make it stop. You have my permission to use any means
necessary short of nuclear weaponry. And yes, once again, it is Greek for lunch day."
Jesus Christ, son of God
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